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I'm sorry but I'm going to be that guy. She has flirted with this guy for probably the entire tenure of her work over there. She has fed off of his flirtation, and has flirted back. She probably even started wearing lower cut shirts to see the reaction he gave. At this juncture, he decided "fuck it, I'll give it a shot." Is he a dick? Absolutely.
I have no doubt that your wife has been flirting. That being said, I don't think it's really a bad thing. She handled it well, and hid nothing from you. I'm a flirt, I do it all the time without realizing it. To me I'm just being nice, and when someone is overly nice to me I feed off of it. The reality is I have to constantly re-assure my friends that I'm not trying to sleep with their girlfriends (honestly I would NEVER do that). That being said, you have every right to ask her never to hang out with him again. This isn't simple flirtation anymore, and as said earlier he has made his intentions clear. At this point if he tries something again, you run the gambit of how drunk your wife is. Unfortunately for both of you, the fault would then lay with yourselves as he had made his intentions clear.
Going out 3 times a week wouldn't bother me either, however the line is drawn when she gets drunk. She is absolutely acting immature, and I agree she's searching for something. I'm sure she would be furious if you went out and got shitfaced half the week.
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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas
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