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Originally Posted by namako
So lately Ive been wanting to mother again, sort of. But not really. I dont really want to take on more children do I? I mean if I became a foster mom wouldnt I need to quit my job and take them as my full-time wards? Ensure they got to school, MD appts, parental visitations? Would I end up in the midst of bad family feelings because I was the middle man? Would I need to attend school meetings for my ward and would their birth parents and case workers be there? Do you think there could be anything familial about foster parenting?
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It depends on the age of the children. Foster kids end up in alternative care situations just like ordinary children do, such as daycare and after-school care. I speak from experience of having been a care provider for foster children; it's actually how I got started in nannying. I was a nanny for two foster children, and have babysat many more.
As for parental visitations, usually the caseworker arranges transportation for the child for those. The child is picked up at your home and returned to your home by the caseworker. As for school meetings--you would most likely be responsible for meeting with your child's teacher at conferences, but you're no more or less obligated to join the PTA and volunteer than a regular parent is (and many pass on these). Depending on the relationship with the child's parent, and the situation, they may or may not take an interest in their child's education, but it's unlikely that they would be involved.
And yes, there is something familial about foster parenting, especially if they're young and it's a long-term situation. The foster parents I worked for ended up adopting one of their foster children. A foster family is what the parents make of it, for the children follow what is modeled for them by their foster parents. Obviously, it's harder to model good family dynamics and behavior to an older child, and these things take time.
I still think fondly of a particular toddler I cared for. I gave her my childhood bedroom set when I moved out of my parents' house. She was lucky in that she had a mother who was willing to do anything to correct the mistakes she had made and get her daughter back. Other children are not so fortunate; the child adopted by his foster family was adopted because his mother had had her parental rights terminated by the state.
But it would be impossible for you to quit your job and be a foster parent full-time, as the State of Oregon will not pay you enough to do so. They provide enough money for the material needs of the child to be met, but not much more.
Personally, I look forward to the possibility of being a foster parent after I have my own family. The foster system needs more good parents.