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I was thinking that you should tell her what you've told us here in your OP. Let her know that you're having difficulty accepting certain things and that, although they're your issues, you'd like her support. Maybe that will lead to discussions that may help to alleviate some of these issues?
About therapy: anything said is between you and the therapist. Unless you plan on going to couples therapy, I'd hardly consider that a betrayal of trust.
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
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