Originally Posted by 'Spam', by Weird Al Yankovic

Spam in the place where I live (ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy)
Spam in my luchbox at work (it's the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwhich any way you slice it at all

If you're running low, go to the store
Carry some money to help you buy more
The tab is there to open the can
The can is there to hold in the spam

Oh, spam on the table at home (ham and pork)
Think about selection, are there different flavors now (let's eat)
Spam in my office at work (it's the best)
Think about the stuff its made from, wonder if it's mystery meat

If you need a spoon, keep one around
Carry a thermos to help wash it down
Now, if there's some left, don't just throw it out
Use it for spackle or bathroom grout, now

Spam in my pantry at home (have some more)
Think of expiration, better read the label (oh boy)
Spam breakfast, dinner, or lunch (it's the best)
Think about how it's been precooked, wonder if I'll just eat it cold

Now, once you start in, you can't put it down
Don't leave it sitting or it'll turn brown
The key is going to open the tin
The tin is there to keep the spam in

Oh, spam (spam)
Ham and pork
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy)
Spam (spam)
It's the best
Really makes a darn good sandwhich any way you slice it

Spam in the place where I live (have some more)
Think about addiction, wonder if I'm a junkie now (let's eat)
Spam in the place where I work (you're obsessed)
Think about the way it's processed, wonder if it's some kind of meat

Spam in the back of my car (ham and pork)
Spam any place that you are (ham and pork)
The tab is there to open the can (spam any place that you are) (ham and pork)
The can is there to hold in the spam (spam any place that you are) (ham and pork)

Originally Posted by 'Spam', by Save Ferris

[chorus:]
Spam
It's pink and it's oval
Spam
I buy it at the Mobil
Spam
It's made in Chernobyl
Spam

Now when I was a child
My family was so poor
They didn't have the finer things in life to eat
So we had a plan
In a big blue can
The government substitute for meat

[repeat chorus]

To get me to eat it at dinner
They said I'd grow up like Bruce Jenner
He was a winner that never knew defeat
And when he got hungry
When he got hungry
He cracked open that special treat
It was

[repeat chorus]

S-P-A-M
Don't you know it's my best friend
S-P-A-M
Again and again and again

S-P-A-M
Don't you know it's my best friend
S-P-A-M
Again and again and again and again

So go and forget your O-S-C-A-R
There's one meat by-product that's best by far
It's

[repeat chorus]