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Originally Posted by lurkette
The problem is, the upstairs is where we sleep and ratbastid is a goddamn furnace.
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Well, damn, you should have told us that to start.
The obvious solution is to heat your house with ratbastid. I'm sure the three of you can figure out some sort of interesting ductwork to maximize his efficiency. And I'm sure he'd enjoy it if it's done on his terms.
/jokes
If I get this correctly, you can still put a door at the bottom of the staircase, which would serve the same purpose. If you decide that making the move downstairs (or upstairs if that works better), then that door might work. If not, you can try weatherstripping the bedroom doors and moving the thermostat into one of those rooms (might require some electrical skills). That way you're monitoring the sealed room and not the rest of the upstairs.
If you decide to move downstairs, you can put curtains/shades on the glass doors for privacy. The bathroom is another issue, obviously, and might require some serious reconstruction to make it workable.
If you're going to swap out major appliances, I'd start with the heat pumps unless they're relatively new, then move to the water heater then to the kitchen. The first two are going to have a more of an impact on the overall efficiancy of the house.