Originally Posted by Sharon

The "lazy" thing may well be true, but more a question of energy than laziness. Sometimes we girls forget how hard guys have to work to take care of us... it typically takes a woman a long time to get off, anything from 10 mins to half an hour! A guy can jack off and be done in less than 2 minutes, no problem.

I had this same conversation with one of my first boyfriends... it upset me that he would take care of himself without my involvement, and I felt like he was rejecting me. After much arguing and discussion, we eventually figured out (and he had a hard time articulating it) that whenever we had sex, he felt like he had to make sure that I had a totally wild ride, which sometimes takes a while and lots of touching, foreplay and stimulation. Sometimes he was just tired, but needed a release, and he felt that it would be more respectful to me to take care of his need for release himself than it would be for him to just fuck me without making me cum. Once I understood this, I was tremendously relieved and it did make a lot of sense.

My solution? I told him that whenever he felt like he needed to get off, just TELL me... and I'd suck him off or give him a quickie or something without the pressure. It took a lot of pressure off that part of our relationship... and of course sometimes, once he'd gotten off and gotten his energy back, he'd go down on me and make sure I got mine too... but I didn't expect that from him, and learned instead to simply enjoy taking care of him.