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Originally Posted by little_tippler
I have had problems in my sex life while in serious relationships and I have tried to kid myself it shouldn't be that important. But it is - at least to me.
If your sex life isn't going well, then your relationship can't be well either.
balanced sexual intimacy and the ability to communicate effectively with your partner, to me, go hand in hand.
I personally can't connect to someone physically if the emotional side isn't there - when that happens, I just feel empty at the end. I don't find any enjoyment in it so why bother?
I feel that I am able to connect to someone "romantically" even if the physical side isn't entirely there. But I'll tell you one thing, I need an o0rgasm every now and then, otherwise I just start to doubt everything. Sadly, I am not one of those very mature people who can affirm with great conviction that the big "O" isn't everything. It may not be everything, but it sure is fucking nice and sometimes I wish I was a guy as they seem to have an easier time (generally) in getting one.
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I think you must have been reading my mail. I'm with little-tippler on this, all the way. I have noticed that a couple's sex life seems to be the barometer of their relationship, not that having more sex makes it better, but when there is none, there is something going very wrong in the relationship. Normally around the emotional communication stuff, and if one person has physical difficulties, we all know there is more than one way of getting off.
I've been down the track of being in a relationship with a "sexual anorexic" myself and as with little-tippler, no matter how much you try and fool yourself, you eventually realise you are doing just that.
And being a guy may mean you have an easier time getting an orgasm, but I'd be tempted to swap that for the opportunity of having multiples
You can keep the childbirth stuff though