There was a rumbling, and the master stirred.
"Who interrupts my slumber?"
Glances thrown about the room could reveal no other presence. And the rumbling came again.
"Oh. My tummy."
It was the year 2033.
Chaos ruled where there once was order. Technology such as the George Foreman Grill had corrupted the minds of the people. The appliance was abandoned when a hippy vegan protester extinguished George Foreman's eternal flame in front of his great tomb. In a twist of irony, all known vegans were captured and ground into hamburger in retaliation.
The master was surprised they made vegans so fatty.
But why look a gift horse in the mouth?
Over time, meals had progressed to contain more and more meat, until that was all they consisted of. This was old craft.
But it needed dairy-based coating to even stay in one's stomach.
You could still hear their screams.
You still wake up sometimes, don't you? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the vegans.
Even fruit and vegetable had been genetically altered to consist of meat.
Meat needed dairy-based coating, too.
When the Red Cross blood donation drive visited the Amish, what they took away was inhuman. We should have known. No human has ever lived without technology before. Seeing no other practical use for their harvest, the Red Cross sold the blood to Heinz, to help them get back on their feet again.
The rumbling was at its peak now.
"I MUST HAVE RELIEF!"
Something was wrong.
This omelet wasn't like all the others.
A burger was born.