MSD

You've spent decades there and their main goal is to keep you there. Weekly indoctrination, even when you had been a willing participant, is not an easy thing to reverse.

When I left the Catholic church (before I became an Atheist,) I read the Gnostic gospels and found Gospel of Thomas reassuring in my decision. Here are a few select passages that emphasize the message and meaning of Christ's word. Verse 77 really cemented the idea in my mind that Jesus never intended for a church to provide anything more than moral guidance. He wanted people to follow his message rather than an institution.

6. His disciples asked him and said to him, "Do you want us to fast? How should we pray? Should we give to charity? What diet should we observe?"
Jesus said, "Don't lie, and don't do what you hate, because all things are disclosed before heaven. After all, there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, and there is nothing covered up that will remain undisclosed.

77. Jesus said, "I am the light that is over all things. I am all: from me all came forth, and to me all attained.

Split a piece of wood; I am there.

Lift up the stone, and you will find me there."

82. Jesus said, "Whoever is near me is near the fire, and whoever is far from me is far from the (Father's) kingdom."


You have come to the conclusion that what you have been taught about the church is wrong, and what you have to do to find peace is to learn as much as you can from as many sources as you can find, and decide what you honestly believe, not what someone else tells you to believe.