Shesus: while you may feel you are a spectator, you are a participant-you're a teacher. You touch 20 lives at a time and while you don't think you're making a difference, you are. I was 'just' a teacher's aide and I still, more than 3 years later, have kids, now seniors in high school, greet me, hug me, still ask if I'm coming back,etc., many of whom were kids I was not responsible for, but in some way, touched.
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Originally Posted by Charlatan
Many who think they know me think I am outgoing and can fit into any situation. The truth is I am quite uncomfortable in new situations and don't like meeting new people. I would much rather be the guy in the background watching things. snip
For me my "outgoing side" is a coping strategy. It's what I do to control the awkward situation. Of course this only works in situations where there is a small group. As soon as the crowd gets too big I am very quick to fall back into the shadows or make a hasty retreat.
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This could have been written by me, word for word. I fall back, preferring to clean up or just quietly slip out the door; I go off by myself many times during any gathering because I have nothing to say or do.
When I was able to afford it, I contributed monetarily to World Wildlife Fund and MADD to help them make a difference. I belong to PGR because I feel it's the right thing to do-now that I've ridden with a small core of people repeatedly, I've gotten more comfortable there. But, as a side note to that-at yesterday's mission for a fellow PGR's fallen son, I was approached by a television reporter who asked me if she could interview me, ask why do I stand in honor, etc. I declined, saying my words would appear foolish as it's too hard to describe and pointed her to my friend.
We are all mostly contributors and participants; I think the commonality we all feel is that it's never enough; that, in a world full of millions of people and thousands of faces we see as participants, we think we're nothing in comparison. It's common, but so untrue. And if you disagree, try disappearing from the lives of those who love you.