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Warlock! · 12-20-2006, 08:23 AM

...and the wife is sitting there watching the NHRA drag races... and she likes it! She's gettin' about half-moist from the rumbling, and she said the speed is really, really exciting her. "These things go from zero to over 200 in like 5 seconds!", she says. I know... I'm a race fan. I know drag racing is about the biggest, baddest, and quickest. I really don't have a lot of extra cash to throw around at a Christmas present for her, but if she's gettin' turned on by speed, I'll be fucked (literally) if I help her get her fix.

I head to the Chevy dealer in town and I'm lookin' at a Z06 they have in the building. "What's the chance this can somehow go from zero to over 200 in about 5 seconds?" The salesman looks at me like I'm from Mars. "Prolly ain't gonna happen, huh?" He shakes his head 'no'. I hop back into the truck and drive down the road a bit.

I pull into the Yamaha dealership and go inside. They have a brand spank-me new 2007 R1 in the center of the showroom. "Nice bike, huh?", the salesman asks. "Yeah... looks fast as fuck, too. What's the top speed?" "About a buck-eighty", he responds with a grin on his face. "Not bad. Will it get there in about 5 seconds?", I ask. "I don't believe it'll get there that quickly, but it's the fastest bike out there." I tell him "Thanks anyways", and head out the door.

I go back to my truck and wonder what the hell I can get her that will do 0-200 with almost no hesitation. Then it hits me.

I went to Meijer and got her a real nice digital bathroom scale.

I am soooo gettin' laid for this one.

12-20-2006, 08:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
Warlock! Upright Location: Ohio	So I get home from work the other day... ...and the wife is sitting there watching the NHRA drag races... and she likes it! She's gettin' about half-moist from the rumbling, and she said the speed is really, really exciting her. "These things go from zero to over 200 in like 5 seconds!", she says. I know... I'm a race fan. I know drag racing is about the biggest, baddest, and quickest. I really don't have a lot of extra cash to throw around at a Christmas present for her, but if she's gettin' turned on by speed, I'll be fucked (literally) if I help her get her fix. I head to the Chevy dealer in town and I'm lookin' at a Z06 they have in the building. "What's the chance this can somehow go from zero to over 200 in about 5 seconds?" The salesman looks at me like I'm from Mars. "Prolly ain't gonna happen, huh?" He shakes his head 'no'. I hop back into the truck and drive down the road a bit. I pull into the Yamaha dealership and go inside. They have a brand spank-me new 2007 R1 in the center of the showroom. "Nice bike, huh?", the salesman asks. "Yeah... looks fast as fuck, too. What's the top speed?" "About a buck-eighty", he responds with a grin on his face. "Not bad. Will it get there in about 5 seconds?", I ask. "I don't believe it'll get there that quickly, but it's the fastest bike out there." I tell him "Thanks anyways", and head out the door. I go back to my truck and wonder what the hell I can get her that will do 0-200 with almost no hesitation. Then it hits me. I went to Meijer and got her a real nice digital bathroom scale. I am soooo gettin' laid for this one.