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Mantus · 08-16-2006, 10:18 PM

Hey Big, Thanks for the answers.

I am having allot of trouble writing this because a) I've been out on the town and b) our views are so differnt that it's very hard for me to commuicate my perspective. All I really want to get across here is that this isn't all that hard nor important. In my view relationships are very organic in nature and develop naturally as long as everyone is on the same page (it's why communication is so important). Infact I think that trying to live up to concepts such "love", "girlfriend" and "getting serious" can hamper things - not always but it can happen. Simply because we all have differnt ideas about what these concepts mean. Ok...rambling...how to make this easy...right...

There are three main steps to each relationship in my opinion.

1) You qualify. Find out what you like about her.
2) You make your intrests clear. You are not applying for a friend possition.
3) You tell her what you are looking for in a relationship.

If she is still there and she recipricates, then you have yourself a relationship. No big deal. It's about finding a common ground.

Ok so I asume you have #1 covered.

How to go about #2.
Say something allong the lines of: "Not only are you (list her X, Y, Z great qualities) but you are sexy as hell too"
Or something like: "I can't believe a girl with such kissable lips can be so (insert something you like about her here)"
That above statement usually leads to one of those "moments".

How to go about #3.
Straight up bring it up.
"Look, this is going really well and I love spending time with you. However you should know that I am looking for an exclusive relationship. I am though goofing around and I am ready to go deeper (and explain to her what that means, like opening up, getting involved with her family, etc.) I want to make sure we are on the same page if we to continue this".

If she is still with you at this point...then you have yourself a girlfriend.

Now it's important to tell her WHAT YOU WANT - explain to her whats happening. You enjoy courtship and being romantic. That's wonderful. Tell her that you want your relationships to work that way. This puts your gifts, roses, poems, etc., in perspective for her. Cuz when most girls hear romance they think "oh this guys is trying to get on my good side". By stating your intent you are saying, I live in a romantic world, this is how things work with me, you are welcome to come and enjoy my world. I hope you got this last part...cuz It's hard to describe.

Cheers.

08-16-2006, 10:18 PM	#16 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	Hey Big, Thanks for the answers. I am having allot of trouble writing this because a) I've been out on the town and b) our views are so differnt that it's very hard for me to commuicate my perspective. All I really want to get across here is that this isn't all that hard nor important. In my view relationships are very organic in nature and develop naturally as long as everyone is on the same page (it's why communication is so important). Infact I think that trying to live up to concepts such "love", "girlfriend" and "getting serious" can hamper things - not always but it can happen. Simply because we all have differnt ideas about what these concepts mean. Ok...rambling...how to make this easy...right... There are three main steps to each relationship in my opinion. 1) You qualify. Find out what you like about her. 2) You make your intrests clear. You are not applying for a friend possition. 3) You tell her what you are looking for in a relationship. If she is still there and she recipricates, then you have yourself a relationship. No big deal. It's about finding a common ground. Ok so I asume you have #1 covered. How to go about #2. Say something allong the lines of: "Not only are you (list her X, Y, Z great qualities) but you are sexy as hell too" Or something like: "I can't believe a girl with such kissable lips can be so (insert something you like about her here)" That above statement usually leads to one of those "moments". How to go about #3. Straight up bring it up. "Look, this is going really well and I love spending time with you. However you should know that I am looking for an exclusive relationship. I am though goofing around and I am ready to go deeper (and explain to her what that means, like opening up, getting involved with her family, etc.) I want to make sure we are on the same page if we to continue this". If she is still with you at this point...then you have yourself a girlfriend. Now it's important to tell her WHAT YOU WANT - explain to her whats happening. You enjoy courtship and being romantic. That's wonderful. Tell her that you want your relationships to work that way. This puts your gifts, roses, poems, etc., in perspective for her. Cuz when most girls hear romance they think "oh this guys is trying to get on my good side". By stating your intent you are saying, I live in a romantic world, this is how things work with me, you are welcome to come and enjoy my world. I hope you got this last part...cuz It's hard to describe. Cheers.