I know exacty how you feel, I think we are probably around the same age, maybe i'm a couple of years older. I've done this. The best friend I started psuedo dating which was really an excuse for us not to be so lonely. She admitted many times she was perhaps falling for me and it excited me even more. One day I had a giggle fest about it. But in the long run, in the aftermath which was quite messy compared to your story, I found that she had left herself emotional loop holes, ways to get out of her own feelings incase it backfired.
In what you say I possibly see three things. First is the friendship line. And I say "line" because more then likely it's her way of saying "i've tried" in case you ever come back with biterness and anger (which you most likely will do in some time). And Cynth, the wisest of wise, hit it dead on about the friends. The become obscure references in your stories to future friends, or a casual conversation in the street, at a mutaul friend's get together, or online late at night when shes the only one online and you have the hankering to just talk.
Two, it will take sometime, and it will seem like it will never end, but it does. And I'm not saying that you will forget about her completely (but you might) and I'm not saying that it will feel easy when it's past (but it might). It's simply time doing it's thing, which is "passing". And as it passes so will this. Cheesy, no? It is, but also very true. I have ex girlfriends that still give me butterflies or a nervous smile when I see them or speak to them. And don't get me wrong, I am engaged to the most amazing woman in the world (no offense Mal
, i still think you're cute with all your sagewisdom and wit and all). But it's still there. And it should be, they took up a couple of months of your life, perhaps even years. Thats serious time and your brain and your metaphorical heart don't forget it. And either should you, learn from it, gain from it, use it, and move on to the next woman you meet and use what you have learned. Not to call women "buses" as previously posted, but they don't stop showing up in your life, even when your IN a relationship, so why would it stop now?
Third is the easiest part. You're young. So am I. If I were to be dumped tomorrow by my fiancee for any reason it would be heartbreaking. And it would go down in my life as one of, if not the, hardest moment(s) in my life. But I know it wouldn't end it. It would change a lot about me. But it wouldn't END me. You'll grow up, and I'm not saying that to belittle you, you're still young and it's obvious Smooth. But don't feel like you have to thrust yourself into dating again, and don't feel like you must sit at home and sing culture club to your bed sheets. Just be yourself. Just let it happen. Take a dip in the sweet melancholy of it all, but don't drown. You know?
Thats my two cents. In this case perhaps 98 cents. Hope it helps?
PMF21