alison

alright, me and my best friend have been friends for almost a year but we feel like we have known each other for years. One of those types of relationships that you just click. While I kind of have had feelings for him as more then a friend but my councillor had advised me to not tell him in fear of jeopardising our friendship. So for the past year even though I have had feelings for him I haven’t acted on them.

Until about a month ago where I decided since he was moving to California that I would see to it that I at least got a kiss from him. So we fooled around a bit not all the way to sex but oral sex at least as well as many other things. Now hes moved away and we talk a lot but it hurts me to know that hes going to get a girlfriend soon and that I may never see him again.

My problem is that last night we were talking and he told me How pretty I was and that he cared about me a lot. That if I wasn’t just a friend to him that he would have asked me out. I read it wrong and blurted out my feelings, he was silent for along time and we pretended like I didn’t say it. I’m hoping I didn’t ruin my friendship with him cause I care deeply for him. Although I don’t know if he cares a lot about me in the same way.

When I liked a guy at my school he became very jealous of him. He told me I was to good for him and should be with some one better. Even though the guy I liked didn’t do any thing wrong and he didn’t even know him. His response was “well I cared about you very much. I thought if he came into the picture that would be the end of you and me”. Another key point people is that I am a clingy person and work well with only hanging out with one person at a time.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should deny my feelings and tell him it was a joke, to ignore the fact that I told him or to bring it up. When I ask him if he liked me as more then a friend he quickly answers no and brushes off the subject never to bring it up again. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.