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It depends on the situation with me. When I get praised, I'll automatically stop and look for the motive behind the praise. I tend to discount praise coming from those close to me because they have good incentive to lie, or at least exaggerate: They want me to feel good about myself.
I suppose this may be why I have difficulty finding a way to praise anybody on a personal level other than the people in my family. They I know will take it at face value in the spirit intended. In my work, I'm also fine with doling out the praise where it's warranted. If I recognize something good in a student's work, it's my job to show her what it is and why it's something worthy of praise.
Otherwise, it's difficult for me to give or to accept. 'What's the ulterior motive,' I tend to think, and for the same reason don't want others to think I'm displaying insincere flattery. Giving a compliment in a situation where I'm not sure it will be well recieved in the spirit intended is something that is very difficult for me.
I suppose this is partly due to coming from a family where praise is generally thought of as something to be withheld and given sparingly lest it lose its power, as if it were some finite quantity that would have to be split up into smaller pieces if used more often.
I'm generous and free with my praise with those I love because I know that's a safe place for it. I don't feel safe or comfortable doing it or accepting it otherwise.
Gilda
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