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there is this one guy in the shop, i'll just call him ron, who needs to die. we're not talking a quick death, i want to see some suffering. i want to remove his vocal cords with a grapefruit spoon first and foremost so i never have to listen to his annoying nasal-ass voice tell another stupid, mindless, racist, bigoted, or otherwise offensive joke again. after that i'd put each of his fingers, one by one, into a hydraulic press and destroy them, followed by his feet. after that, i think i'd probably just dump him out into the desert and let him fend for himself... don't let anyone say i killed him... he just didn't fend for himself that well. what a shame, no?
and considering my ex isn't actually a co-worker, i'll leave her alone on this thread, but i've got even better plans for her...
none of this would ever happen, of course, but never let it be said that i don't have a vivid imagination.
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My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
- Thomas Paine
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