Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Severe sickness putting a relationship on hold:Help please!

thelifeandtimes · 06-05-2006, 08:27 PM

Some of you may remember the thread I made awhile back concerning an ex girlfriend and a new girl whom I became very fond of. Well, the new girl and I dated for about 2 weeks before making it official. Come to find out, we are the exact same person with the same wants, needs, desires and mindset. The feelings between us was prevelant to everyone we came in contact with. Somehow, and it may sound crazy, we both knew, seperately, we were meant to be together not just for a little bit, but indeffinately. It's hard to explain, but her eyes held my future, and we both knew what we had was huge. The first time we went out on a date, she told me, she was dying of a condition that the name slips my mind. It causes severe anxiety attacks to the point of passing out and going into a coma and if severe enough could lead to death. The symptoms include slight anger, memory loss, severe social anxiety etc. Basically being in a comatose state.

For the last two months she has been attending cosmetology school and had been going double time, up to around 60 hours a week, 12 hours a day or so. This was occuring 4 months before we met and began dating. She was masking her sickness through school, and once school ended, she slowly started to crack until finally tonight, she completely broke.

She told me she needs to go back into counseling andshe needs to make hereself better alone, so she can know she is strong enough. She is looking at an institute out of state to go to and get help. She told me she can't be selfish and she doesnt want me in here life as a boyfriend, but just a friend, her best friend. She told me she still wanted me around, still needed me to be there and still wanted to be together once she got herself better. Basically we are together but in a intermission sort of state.

She is sincere, probably the most sincerest person I have ever met, so I have no doubts about her intentions, but this is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Our relationship was more intense in the last 2 months than my year long relationship combined and it just hurts to know I can't be there like I want to.

I'm just asking for advice on how to deal with this, maybe just ideas on how to make the pain go away. Is this a sitation where it is completely ok to stick around until she is all better, and be there for her regardless, as if we were still "completely" together? I feel at ease in a sense for a large part of me knows we will end up back together, but I'm just scared. Please help me out, it'd be much appreciated.

06-05-2006, 08:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
thelifeandtimes Upright	Severe sickness putting a relationship on hold:Help please! Some of you may remember the thread I made awhile back concerning an ex girlfriend and a new girl whom I became very fond of. Well, the new girl and I dated for about 2 weeks before making it official. Come to find out, we are the exact same person with the same wants, needs, desires and mindset. The feelings between us was prevelant to everyone we came in contact with. Somehow, and it may sound crazy, we both knew, seperately, we were meant to be together not just for a little bit, but indeffinately. It's hard to explain, but her eyes held my future, and we both knew what we had was huge. The first time we went out on a date, she told me, she was dying of a condition that the name slips my mind. It causes severe anxiety attacks to the point of passing out and going into a coma and if severe enough could lead to death. The symptoms include slight anger, memory loss, severe social anxiety etc. Basically being in a comatose state. For the last two months she has been attending cosmetology school and had been going double time, up to around 60 hours a week, 12 hours a day or so. This was occuring 4 months before we met and began dating. She was masking her sickness through school, and once school ended, she slowly started to crack until finally tonight, she completely broke. She told me she needs to go back into counseling andshe needs to make hereself better alone, so she can know she is strong enough. She is looking at an institute out of state to go to and get help. She told me she can't be selfish and she doesnt want me in here life as a boyfriend, but just a friend, her best friend. She told me she still wanted me around, still needed me to be there and still wanted to be together once she got herself better. Basically we are together but in a intermission sort of state. She is sincere, probably the most sincerest person I have ever met, so I have no doubts about her intentions, but this is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Our relationship was more intense in the last 2 months than my year long relationship combined and it just hurts to know I can't be there like I want to. I'm just asking for advice on how to deal with this, maybe just ideas on how to make the pain go away. Is this a sitation where it is completely ok to stick around until she is all better, and be there for her regardless, as if we were still "completely" together? I feel at ease in a sense for a large part of me knows we will end up back together, but I'm just scared. Please help me out, it'd be much appreciated.