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little_tippler · 05-22-2006, 08:16 AM

Definitely speak to him before this party...

It's not fair of him to pressure you this way, especially if you've already made it clear that nothing will happen. Also, he will be ruining what would otherwise be a great birthday party - yours! This is your day...he is not thinking of you or how you feel, he is thinking of himself. You may consider him your friend but he is not acting like one. He will be putting you on the spot in front of your closest friends.

You can be his friend and make it clear, politely, that you are not interested that way, before the party, to spare him the huge embarrassment. To me he honestly sounds delusional. I mean, a diamond ring?! Come on. He might as well propose to you while he's at it! Also tell him that if he decides to go ahead and give it to you in public that you will have no choice but to refuse in public also. It's his choice after that.

Edit: one more thing. To anyone who is thinking, well he may be giving the gift as a friend no? Wrong. A ring is a very personal item, that often men give to women as a sign of a romantic commitment. I for one have never heard of a male friend giving a female friend a ring just out of the lbue, especially one that expensive. And a diamond ring, everyone thinks - ooh proposal/engagement. It MAY be a harmless gift...but with all the background between these two people, it's hard to believe that he's not playing on double meanings, even if he's trying to make it look innocent.

05-22-2006, 08:16 AM	#8 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	Definitely speak to him before this party... It's not fair of him to pressure you this way, especially if you've already made it clear that nothing will happen. Also, he will be ruining what would otherwise be a great birthday party - yours! This is your day...he is not thinking of you or how you feel, he is thinking of himself. You may consider him your friend but he is not acting like one. He will be putting you on the spot in front of your closest friends. You can be his friend and make it clear, politely, that you are not interested that way, before the party, to spare him the huge embarrassment. To me he honestly sounds delusional. I mean, a diamond ring?! Come on. He might as well propose to you while he's at it! Also tell him that if he decides to go ahead and give it to you in public that you will have no choice but to refuse in public also. It's his choice after that. Edit: one more thing. To anyone who is thinking, well he may be giving the gift as a friend no? Wrong. A ring is a very personal item, that often men give to women as a sign of a romantic commitment. I for one have never heard of a male friend giving a female friend a ring just out of the lbue, especially one that expensive. And a diamond ring, everyone thinks - ooh proposal/engagement. It MAY be a harmless gift...but with all the background between these two people, it's hard to believe that he's not playing on double meanings, even if he's trying to make it look innocent. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918 Last edited by little_tippler; 05-22-2006 at 08:20 AM..