maleficent

When you are sad . . . I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum sucking weasel who made you sad.

When you are scared . . . I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried, . . . I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.

When you are confused . . . I will use little words to explain it to you.

When you are lost . . . I will answer my cell phone and give you directions.

When you are sick . . . I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.

And when you fall . . . I will point and laugh at you.

This is my oath . . . I pledge till the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my friend. And the whole reason people have friends is to have fun.

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