Waltert, what a good idea! I will suggest this to my best friend who has this problem.
Personally, I think deeper is always better but that is just me!
Also there are ring-shaped toys that have a vibrator in them too! You might give one a try. That might also have the effect of turning her on more so she will relax. Yes, the length of the vagina varies radically depending on state of arousal--it is like a reverse hard-on. Vaginas a weird.
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