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Originally Posted by innovis
So I guess my question is, what is a guy to do in a situation where his girl either has an old friend or makes a new friend who is disrespectfully close and seriously flirting with/pursuing the girl, and the girl does not see it, or does not see that it bothers you, or does not care/do anything to stop it? It seems like the general consensus is that bringing up the issue makes you seem weak, insecure, or that you lack confidence, and makes the woman more defensive and closer to said friend. What is the solution?
Somehow it gets twisted to seem like the issue is that you're afraid that your girlfriend will cheat on you/you don't trust her, and if you trusted her that it wouldn't be an issue.
I think the way the boyfriend geninuinely feels, though, is a variety of things...
1) That she is condoning courtship behavior that you went through to get her
2) That she is building a relationship with someone that, in the event of rough times with you, could be fallen back on
3) The new guy is either hoping for the demise of your relationship or trying to bring it about and is basically assaulting/insulting you personally
4) There is some major element of disrespect that I can't seem to express simply or elegantly, other than that someone is moving in on your "claim".
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The guy who tries to move in on another guy's girlfriend is really the lowest form of life out there. It's all about respect. He should respect the fact that you don't like him getting all touchy feely with your girlfriend. Your girlfriend should also respect the fact that it makes you uncomfortable to see her being emotionally manipulated by some dude. You can't force it though, you have to let her know how it makes you feel, and be done with it. If you're really insecure and bring it up all the time, it will drive her away from you.
Now, harmless flirting and whatnot between old friends I really don't give a shit about. But when it's some random dude and it starts getting more intense, then I would probably go to the other guy and tell him to back the fuck up. After that, there really is nothing else to do other than let nature take its course. If the girl wants to be a dumb bitch and break up with you for another guy, then fuck her. She obviously wasn't worth it. Then I'd also consider beating the other guy to a pulp, considering such factors as who would win, likeliness that the other guy is a whiny bitch who would call the cops, etc
