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No matter how many times Bill Clinton said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" the end result was sexual contact with another person.
The only exception I can think of would be "Turn and cough" and "Doc, are you using your whole hand"...
If you have to justify it ("There was no Happy Ending", "I paid for it", "The Sheep looked lonely" etc...) it's cheating in my book...
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"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
Robin Williams.
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