Ladies and Gentlemen...
This week as I toured my city doing my Christmas shopping and watching TV I have not heard a single Merry Christmas! I have heard Happy Holidays, Happy Christmas, Happy Channuka, Happy Kwanza and even a few Happy New Years...
I tell you my friends, there is a war on Merry.
I haven't seen or heard the word in days.
When I called out a cheerful, Merry Christmas to the cashier at Old Navy, I swear she gave me a double take and murmered a "many happy returns to you, sir". What an odd thing for her to say. Either she was wishing me pleasure in returning my gifts post-Christmas OR she was afraid to say Merry Christmas because her managment would come down on her...
As I was walking down the street, I can't be sure but the carolers I passed were singing God Rest Ye Pleasant Gentlemen... by the time I realized what I was I'd heard and went back to make sure they'd switched to Good King Wenceslas.
I have tried to come up for a reason that Merry is being banished from Christmas and all I can come up with is a website that seems to have a thing against certain hobbits.
Ladies and Gentlemen... this is a time to Eat, Drink and be Merry. Don't settle for Joyful... Happy... Overtly Pleased.
You have earned your right to be MERRY damn it and don't let any politically correct, hobbit hating, person tell you otherwise.