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Originally Posted by Martian
Alright, here's the deal.
These feelings, this wanting other people; it's not going to stop until you do. It's part of being human to want sex and to occasionally want sex with someone other than the person you're committed to. Being married and being in love is more about making that commitment not to let these thoughts get to you. You're not a bad person for having them and you're right in not following them. She's more important to you.
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What Martian said.
I know a guy who literally stops dead in his tracks and bugs his eyes out every time he sees a goodlooking redhead. Redheads have always affected him that way; he doesn't seem to be able to help it. Nevertheless, he's happily married to a non-redhead, doesn't cheat and would never think of doing so. His wife just rolls her eyes when he has a redhead reaction in her presence.
In short, your brains are your brains and your balls are your balls; both of them have things to say to you and always will. Don't think there's something wrong with you because your balls are telling you something that your brain doesn't agree with. That's just the way life is. You've made a choice and, apparently, if given that choice again you wouldn't change a thing. You listened to your brain and frankly, that's always best.
Those fantasies about being with other women will never entirely go away -- I'm 50, and believe me they don't -- but when you accept that it's just a fantasy and not some deep message from your inner soul saying "YOU FUCKED UP," you'll stop worrying about them. And when you stop worrying about them, those fantasies become about as important as, say, what you had for breakfast this morning.