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Hail Mr. Chairman, the amphibious Vice President to be, this convention, and my fellow members of this great forum:
With a vague awareness of the responsibility conferred by your trust, I accept your nomination for the presidency of the United States. I do so with deep and flavorful gratitude, and I think also I might interject on behalf of all of us, our thanks to pornography and online gambling for making the interent what it has become today. I praise you for your wholehearted response to the recommendation in regard to the Hypnotoad as a candidate for vice president.
Tonight, let us dedicate ourselves to renewing the American compact. I ask you not simply to "Trust me," but to obey the Hypnotoad without question or hesitation. I also ask you to trust that the "hamburger spirit" which knows no ethnic, religious, social, political, regional, or economic boundaries; is the spirit that burns with zeal in the fires of millions of grills from every backyard of this great country and sort of tastes like freedom.
Thank you and goodnight.
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