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I don't see how you'll be able to manage not offending anyone's feelings.
If your sister in law has been abusive, and causes tension when in the same building as your brother, don't invite her. Perhaps you could speak to her and your father before hand, explaining the problem. If you would like to keep in good terms with this woman, then perhaps inviting her to dinner on a different night, when your brother is not there, would be nice.
I'm not sure how your relationship is with your brother and sister-in-law, but I tend to assume that despite everything, your brother would come first in the pecking order, despite what your dad may say. Right?
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