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It's your home. You are the hostess. You have to do what is going to make YOU comfortable. If you don't want your SIL there, put your foot down and say so--now, not later, so any tension has the chance to disappate BEFORE Thanksgiving. Be honest with your father. Tell him you are doing what you consider the best for EVERYONE involved. Tell him you don't want any excess drama.
Any true adult will realize the implications of having both of them there.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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