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Originally Posted by ohh_shesus
Some mothers are very protective of their children and will do anything not to face the truth that their child messed up. My grandmother is the same way with my uncle. He has been in jail multiple times for DUIs and is an alcoholic. He is in his 50s and still living at home and can't keep a job. He is always drunk. However, my grandmother still insists that he has stopped drinking. This is even when he is sitting there drinking a beer. She is the same way about my cousin who got put in military jail for drug problems. Of course he never did drugs and was framed by his ex-wife. And let's forget about his expulsion from high school for the same thing. She has put herself in debt and spent all of my grandfather's retirement money on bailing the 2 of them out of jail.
What is even worse is that my dad, who is the best of her 3 sons, is the black sheep of the family. He can never do anything right. And I am the one always asking for money. I find this funny because I have never asked anyone, not even my mom, for money. And I have been pretty broke from moving and being unemployed.
Families are dysfunctional. I have learned just to laugh it off. And of course move half way across the country to get away from them.  |
I can relate, in one fashion or another to your family's fabulous ability to relate and care for one another.
My
dad just turned 50 a few months ago, has lived at home with his parents for most of
my life. Granted, he fought in court to gain custody of me against my alcoholic mother (and won), and tried to give me a life of comfort. Also, he graduated from his junior college as Salutatorian of his class, as well as remaining employed during certain times of my youth, all while raising me. However, these things wouldn't have been ultimately possible without the help of his parents/my grandparents, and over the years he's rationalized doing
less and less. He has felonies from before he gained custody of me so that is a big reason as to why he now doesn't hold a job.
My grandparents (although my grandpa complains about it) have done nothing but supported him and me each and every year since I was 4 (22 years now) by giving him a place in their home, food, etc. as well as countless thousands of dollars during this time.
He shows his gratitude by maintaining one of their four homes, landscaping and cleaning, however, every so often (when we're on the subject) he talks about being the executor of his parents estate (since his older brother passed) as if he's the one who gets it all and then
decides what he wants everyone to have.
And yet, his parents still support him financially.
Me? I work, attend school, and try to live within my means, however, it's not easy at times and though my grandparents have helped much more than they should, they are still reluctant to help me at times.
I really would love to know and understand the rationality of helping someone who won't help themselves but yet, hesitate at someone who shows that they are responsible, trustworthy, in need of a little help.
Some family's help until they can help no longer...it is one of those things that remains a mystery, I'm sure.