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Originally Posted by Sage
"I trust my fiance but that might get shaky with the alcohol and her hanging all over him"
Alright, red flag. You trust your fiancee but only while he's sober and supervised. If he's left alone while drinking and has a girl he's got a history with, he might do something "bad." How much do you trust your fiancee? This statement sounds like not very much at all, and that's not a good way to go into a marriage.
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I've tried a few times to respond to this and have been having a hard time...
DING DING DING - I read that and have been trying to respond to that a few times, then keep getting distracted... Sage said it very well. Trust is trust... It's not conditional.. What if at his bachelor party, there was booze and nekkid women... do you not trust him?
I have a bit of a bias reading this thread.. because I have been the friend of the fiance... In fact I stood up for my friend when he got married... and his fiance fussed about it.. her father finally settled her down by saying (this got back to me later on -- she was his friend before you come along, and if you keep acting jealous, she'll be his friend long after you are gone.) I was a friend, nothing more, we had a lot of history together, that you can't forget.
Trust him or kick him to the curb, you can't conditionally trust him, that he's fine when there's no booze, but when there's booze... all bets are off... does that mean to say that you aren't trustworthy when you have been drinking? If this is the case, maybe you both should look at your drinking patterns.
She asked to participate in the wedding - as his friend, that's well within her rights - why did you say no? You've got problems with a nother bridesmaid, why not take one who wants to participate and would probably be very supportive.
I'm with Sage as well that it honestly sounds like you two are not ready for marriage yet... sounds like you have some issues that you need to work out before hand.
Jealousy, whether you have a real reason or an imagined reason, is a relationship killer. Either you trust him or you don't.
Most men are pretty clueless about women flirting with them, especially if it's a woman that's beenin their life for a l ong time... I could 'hang all over' my friend, and he wouldn't notice it... I would mean nothing by it.. .he was just fun to flirt with...
If you see this friend as the enemy, or someone who is going to come between you, then well, self fulfilling prophecy, she will. Figure out some sort of happy medium with her - she's his friend, why should he dump her because his wife is insecure about her... have lunch with her and find out what she's up to...