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your girlfriend sounds like she's an alcoholic on self-destruct mode, doing stupid things to harm herself, get your attention, ands destroy the good relationship she has with you. The problem with alcoholics is that they can't just keep drinking moderately, they have to stop completely. Sure there will be times when they fail, but they have to keep it in their minds that they should not be drinking, ever. As for cheating, I'd tell her to be honest and say whether there's anything going on with the gay friend (even if he is gay), and keep a very watchful eye on him from now on. If she fails to compromise and try to stop drinking, then it can be hopeless.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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