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Originally Posted by doodlebird
as selfish as it may sound, what i'm trying to protect are my present and future assets. she says she doesn't want child support. i want THAT in writing, so that 5 or 10 years down the line, i don't become her winning lotto ticket.
i will never refuse to pay for anything for my son - while he is in my custody. but i'll be damned if i'm going to give her a cent. she left. she should support herself. i can take care of the child.
am i being selfish or close minded here? if there are any mothers who've left their partners out there, i'd love to hear your side of the story. i am struggling to understand my ex's decisions.
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Firstly, as far as child support goes, if she says she doesn't want any then you absolutely must get that in writing. I can guarantee that her opinion will change a few years down the road once the expenses that go hand in hand with schooling crop up. That is something that must be addressed now - for children tend to cost more and more as they grow older!
I split from my ex (the once common law father of both my boys) when my littlest one was only six months old. Although I have attended the necessary courses the courts require for parenting after seperation, we have never reached the stage (after four years) where we have anything on paper. I left him and I don't ask for a dime for child support from him. I can take care of my children on my own but I must say I do appreciate the times he helps out financially by paying for a course they are interested in or just taking them out clothes shopping. To me, I don't want/need the money....I just want them (my children) to have a good relationship with him. It isn't their fault that he and I don't get along so why should they be the ones to suffer????? I've never understood people that use their children as pawns in a divorce. How can they not see that the only ones getting hurt by those type of actions are the children themselves? A little off topic there but it is a very toucy subject with me!
As far as the original question as to a child raised in a motherless home....it is all so simple to me. As long as a child is loved and raised in a good environment (ie supportive, non abusive, protected) then it doesn't matter if it is Mom or Dad doing the raising. There is no rule written in gold that says women make the better care-givers. I know a few, unfortunately, who probably shouldn't even own a dog let alone be allowed to raise a kid. I give a big thumbs up to
any person raising a child basically on their own. It's not an easy task.