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Hugs to you, dude. It's a shitty place you're in right now. You'll climb out soon enough and be better for it, but you've gotta let it happen. Life experiences mold us into who we are and the smart ones remember their past and how they got there. You know what went wrong, so make sure it doesn't happen again and don't forget to watch out for yourself.
One of the most valuable lessons I have learned is that if you don't take care of and respect yourself, no one else will. You are worth your own time, energy, and effort. You are the only one responsible for your own well-being and you DO have the choice to choose whether or not to live your life in a successful, productive, and HEALTHY (mentally and physically work hand in hand) manner. Pick yourself up, move on, deal with the grief as it comes and keep on moving. Ultimately, have faith in yourself.
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A hard man is good to find. ~Mae West
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