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When recounting the past, we tend to focus on the good and block out the bad. This is especially true of relationships. He was your first love, and you learned to value yourself as a romantic partner based on his value of you.
You are infatuated with a ghost of what was, and you want to prove your value by regaining his love after a cruel lack of care for your affection. Make a list of what is important to you in a loving relationship, and then consider how your current boyfriend shows his love for you, and how you measure up in showing your love for him.
Accept that your first relationship is history (as it should be) and your value comes from a loving, supportive partner who thinks you are worth being loyal to.
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Oft expectation fails...
and most oft there Where most it promises
- Shakespeare, W.
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