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Seeker · 05-27-2005, 05:53 PM

I strongly agree with F6twister's definitions..

I cannot comprehend when a parent punishes a very young child that has not had first a discipline for the happening or event.

Whenever my daughter did something that I saw was wrong or incorrect for whatever reason, I first ran her history through my mind to see if she had an experience or discipline in the circumstance or behaviour. Sometimes this meant a punishment, other times I could see that she needed a more disciplined approach.

Using your example of the broken vase; First, did the behaviour come from a perspective where the child knew the vase would break? You might be really upset because you loved the vase, but most of the time the child may not have expected that a certain action would cause the vase to break.

Another example from when my daughter was about 1 1/2 years old; My mum and I were cleaning her windows.. my daughter somewhere through our activity found some white shoe polish and proceeded to wipe it all over one of the first windows we had washed.. my mum immediately went into punishment mode, until I interjected and made her realise that my daughter was 'helping'.. how could a child of that age intentionally undo what we had done, it seemed apparent to me that she just did not realise that you don't use shoe polish to clean windows.

All in all, this was my approach and I found it worked very well for me as being a sole parent, I had to both be her friend and teacher. I wish you both the best!...

05-27-2005, 05:53 PM	#4 (permalink)
Seeker Getting Clearer Location: with spirit	I strongly agree with F6twister's definitions.. I cannot comprehend when a parent punishes a very young child that has not had first a discipline for the happening or event. Whenever my daughter did something that I saw was wrong or incorrect for whatever reason, I first ran her history through my mind to see if she had an experience or discipline in the circumstance or behaviour. Sometimes this meant a punishment, other times I could see that she needed a more disciplined approach. Using your example of the broken vase; First, did the behaviour come from a perspective where the child knew the vase would break? You might be really upset because you loved the vase, but most of the time the child may not have expected that a certain action would cause the vase to break. Another example from when my daughter was about 1 1/2 years old; My mum and I were cleaning her windows.. my daughter somewhere through our activity found some white shoe polish and proceeded to wipe it all over one of the first windows we had washed.. my mum immediately went into punishment mode, until I interjected and made her realise that my daughter was 'helping'.. how could a child of that age intentionally undo what we had done, it seemed apparent to me that she just did not realise that you don't use shoe polish to clean windows. All in all, this was my approach and I found it worked very well for me as being a sole parent, I had to both be her friend and teacher. I wish you both the best!... __________________ *To those who wander but who are not lost...* ~ Knowledge is not something you acquire, it is something you open yourself to.