Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - I need serious help. I can't get my wife off.

Martian · 04-29-2005, 09:55 PM

What everyone else said and then some.

Be gentle and encouraging. She's probably picking up on your frustration, which is making it harder for her to relax enough to orgasm. Sex needs to be fun; it may help to remember that it's not as important for women to come as it is for men (although I'm a dude and therefore have no first-hand experience, it's my understanding that many women don't have an orgasm every time they have sex and are prefectly okay with that).

Another thing to suggest to her is masturbating in the shower. She's already naked and running her hands all over her body, it's not a big leap. Try suggesting that she try to figure out what works for her in order to help you get her there.

Or share a shower. I don't know if you've done that one yet, but my lover and me find it to be incredibly erotic and generally end up having amazing sex during/after (although if it's after it usually necessitates another shower).

Finally, like everyone said, talk to your doctor. It seems embarassing and isn't the easiest thing in the world to bring up, but this is his job and he'll know if there's any way to help ith the medications. If that's where the problem is (which could well be the case) then you're probably not going to get anywhere on your own and you simply can't alter orstop her medications without professional help. Your doctor deals with this sort of thing every day and is trained to know what needs to be done; he may be able to give you some insight into what exactly's going on. If you do talk to him about it, try to be as specific as possible. Did the problem start as soon as she went on the medications, shortly after? Was it abrupt or did it develop gradually? These sorts of things will help the doctor to know just what's going on.

Oh, and a final note for you and your wife; remember that masturbation is not wrong or bad and there's no reason not to even if you're in a loving relationship. The simply fact is that her libido isn't how it used to be and if yours is still up there then there's no reason to deny yourself just to be noble. Be open with her about it and make sure she understands that it isn't a shortcoming of her's, but don't be afraid to go that route either.

04-29-2005, 09:55 PM	#16 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	What everyone else said and then some. Be gentle and encouraging. She's probably picking up on your frustration, which is making it harder for her to relax enough to orgasm. Sex needs to be fun; it may help to remember that it's not as important for women to come as it is for men (although I'm a dude and therefore have no first-hand experience, it's my understanding that many women don't have an orgasm every time they have sex and are prefectly okay with that). Another thing to suggest to her is masturbating in the shower. She's already naked and running her hands all over her body, it's not a big leap. Try suggesting that she try to figure out what works for her in order to help you get her there. Or share a shower. I don't know if you've done that one yet, but my lover and me find it to be incredibly erotic and generally end up having amazing sex during/after (although if it's after it usually necessitates another shower). Finally, like everyone said, talk to your doctor. It seems embarassing and isn't the easiest thing in the world to bring up, but this is his job and he'll know if there's any way to help ith the medications. If that's where the problem is (which could well be the case) then you're probably not going to get anywhere on your own and you simply can't alter orstop her medications without professional help. Your doctor deals with this sort of thing every day and is trained to know what needs to be done; he may be able to give you some insight into what exactly's going on. If you do talk to him about it, try to be as specific as possible. Did the problem start as soon as she went on the medications, shortly after? Was it abrupt or did it develop gradually? These sorts of things will help the doctor to know just what's going on. Oh, and a final note for you and your wife; remember that masturbation is not wrong or bad and there's no reason not to even if you're in a loving relationship. The simply fact is that her libido isn't how it used to be and if yours is still up there then there's no reason to deny yourself just to be noble. Be open with her about it and make sure she understands that it isn't a shortcoming of her's, but don't be afraid to go that route either.