Why Men Won't Read Maps
Why Men Won’t Read Maps
1. Maps are flat. No man wants to run his hands over a flat surface. He wants mounds. If you carried a 3D topographical map in the car, he’d use it.
2. Maps cause Folding Anxiety. Women don’t care if they fold the map up exactly the way it was to begin with. Men want to be able to restore the map’s virginity for the next time. They are inherently afraid this is not possible.
3. Maps do not reflect the man’s concept that he is the center of the universe. The map is not oriented to where he is at any given time. This is why men flock to the mall maps – there’s a big red arrow that indicates “YOU ARE HERE”. If a woman had designed the arrow, the text would read “SHOES ARE HERE”.
4. Maps contain no buttons, levers, or switches to manipulate. Without these, a man feels that a map is useless, low-tech, and a waste of his intellect.
5. Maps offer too many choices and compel too many decisions. Men want to go from A to B. They don’t want to spend time figuring out how.
6. Maps reflect the illogical world. Man is logical. He cannot compute that Independence Boulevard becomes Dutch Avenue, which turns into Dutch-Meister Road, and then changes to I-365 for ½ mile and then ends up as FM1040 and crosses Independence Boulevard three streets later. It upsets his psyche to read these things.
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