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Old 04-12-2005, 04:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
stonewallja
Upright
 
Location: Florida
Start of a Novel - Short - Suggestions Solicited

The time has come for me to write another book. How do you do that? You sit down at your computer and start typing. Of course you need a premise/story in mind. I want to take on the Pharmaceutical Corps and the Medical Professionals who prescribe their poison. I hear Mike Moore is currently writing a book that exposes them. I think they are killers. I've chosen a name but I can't reveal it now. I'm looking for suggestions that will make this beginning better. Have a go: a writing challenge if you like.

Prologue

"Roger! Roger! Roger!" It was a feeble, pitiful plea. "Roger!"

Finally, on her fourth desperate callout my eyes opened. I felt as though I’d just fallen asleep. The reason I hadn’t heard her was the space separating us. I slept across the house in the master bedroom. Forty years of marriage changes a couple’s priorities. But I always left my door open so I could hear Betty’s call should some problem arise.

"Roger."

The streetlight shinning through the window illuminated my watch. Twelve thirty-two p.m. was written on its face.

I shouted, “I’m coming Betty.”

Seized by fear now, I leapt from bed and sped to her room. The fear had reached a summit by the time I found her sprawled on the floor near the foot of the bed. My heart pounded in my chest.

"Roger."

I flicked on the lights. Her face showed pain. Her eyes were fearful. Pepper and Princess our adorable three-year-old Affenpinchers sat at the end of the bed staring knowingly at their world clutching her right side and groaning. These two beautiful creatures adore my wife. And they are our world.

"Roger."

Calm down Man. “What’s wrong Betty?” Apprehension choked my voice. My mind whirled through the possibilities. Was it a heart attack, stroke, a broken bone? Nothing this serious had ever occurred before.

“I was coming back from the bathroom and I felt a severe pain in my right groin. Fortunately, I broke my fall with the corner of the bed.”

“What’s wrong with your side?”

“I don’t know, but it hurts. It hurts a lot.”

“I have to get you up.”

“Please do. I can’t sleep here on the floor.”

“OK!” This isn’t going to be easy. She weighs 177 pounds. But I have to try.
I stooped and grabbed her under her arms. I struggled with all my strength to sit her up and failed. She couldn’t help at all.

Half way through my struggle Pepper and Princess barked.

“I’m not hurting her. Now stop barking.”

These two adorable creatures knew us as mommy-deeks and daddy-deeks. I know it’s corny but they are precious. They don’t care that we’ve reached the so-called golden years and our wrinkles have deepened. But we would soon learn that it was really the olden years that we'd reached.

“I’m calling 911.”

Chapter 1

Eleven years earlier Roger and Betty Scott moved to this tranquil community in Central Florida...
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Red beans and ricely,

stonewallja

Last edited by stonewallja; 04-13-2005 at 05:24 PM.. Reason: To add a edited version
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