heccubusiv

I was recently diagonsed with sevre depression due to a lot of deaths in my life. My father, grandfather, grandmother, 2 aunts, a close friend, and two teachers have died in the past three years. I am at therapy 3 times a week, and am on a few medications to treat depression and sometimes i am happy. But recently when I got home from college. It seems like everyone is yelling at me because i am not spending time with them or I did not tell them things.
For example my family is mad because I do not spend enough time with them but when i do they go do other stuff and leave me by myself, or friends because I am not with them enough. It does not sound bad but due to some mental condition I take everything personally when people yell at me I feel horrible and take everything to heart and pretty much cry. Its really childish but I cannot help it, I have been on a emotional rollar coaster for a while and it just has been going down.
I am just looking to see if anyone has a way that i can be happy most of the time, I all the reasons to I am in the top 10% of my pharmacy class, in the honors college, treasure of the sophmore honors society, just got engaged, and the list goes on but I can only focus on the negatives things in my live and i beat myself up about them so bad that I have stopped almosted stopped pushing myself because I am to afraid to fail.
This has also effect my fiancee because i fight with her all the time because she tries to be fun and pick at me and I take it seriously and end up getting really mad and breaking down and crying. She is getting mad because I am always not up to my normal self and because of it I am not eating and have lost 15% of my total weight in three months. Which does not sound like much but i was only a 130 and I am down around 110 right now. I also have had sleeping problems where i get like 2 hours of sleep a night for a long period of time like 3 months and then finally pass out during the day and sleeping for at least 10 hours then i am fine.
I am just looking for another opinion because i dunno how good my therapist is because i am not seeing much improvement and am seeming to get more depressed. Also i am up for trying certain exercise to fall asleep because my friends have tried everything from Yoga to playing basketball until 4:00 o'clock in the morning to make me fall asleep. Or medication to fall sleep because Sonata does not work and I need 25 mg of Melatonin to fall asleep and I don't feel comfortable taking that much of that. Gaining weight would be an opition also because being 110 pounds is not a good thing for a 20 year old male. I am sorry if this is just ranting and raving with out a point I have been having a bad day and I am just looking for answers.

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Fuck Ohio