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Marry her - now.
I really can't top your story, but I can add one that was pretty embarrassing. My wife and I exchanged our wedding gifts with one another at our rehearsal dinner. Parents, GRANDPARENTS, friends, cousins, uncles - you get the idea.
My gift was a new door knocker with our surname and marriage date inscribed on it. Hers was a photograph of her laid out in her "wedding night" lingerie! So, the night before I got to see them for real, I got to see them in photo. However, everyone in my entire family and wedding party ALSO got to see them. She thought it was a hoot to embarrass me like that - I grudge fucked her cross-eyed the next night.
My grandparents still talk about it....the picture, not the grudge fucking!
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