| Marry her - now.
 I really can't top your story, but I can add one that was pretty embarrassing.  My wife and I exchanged our wedding gifts with one another at our rehearsal dinner.  Parents, GRANDPARENTS, friends, cousins, uncles - you get the idea.
 
 My gift was a new door knocker with our surname and marriage date inscribed on it.  Hers was a photograph of her laid out in her "wedding night" lingerie!  So, the night before I got to see them for real, I got to see them in photo.  However, everyone in my entire family and wedding party ALSO got to see them.  She thought it was a hoot to embarrass me like that - I grudge fucked her cross-eyed the next night.
 
 My grandparents still talk about it....the picture, not the grudge fucking!
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