Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

JumpinJesus · 12-15-2004, 04:13 PM

Okay,

Typically, I read posts about pet peeves, inconsiderate people, etc.

This is my confession....

Last night, my wife and I were the jerks. Unbelievable, I know, but we were.

We're at home watching our Sex and the City DVDs. In one episode, Carrie is out clubhopping on Saturday nights whilst Aidan stays in, happy to watch some television and fall asleep in his skivvies with his hand in a bucket of KFC.

At the sight of this, my wife and I look at each other and simultaneously say, "KFC sounds good." I have a hankering for some popcorn chicken while my wife is jonesing for some Chicken Strips. We hit the redline and book it down to State and Lake, where there is a wonderful little Taco Bell/KFC joint. Since it's fucking freezing outside, we decide to walk the 10 blocks home. We cross State street - which is a wee bit crowded at 6:30 pm. As we cross the street, arm in arm, a woman is approaching us who is entirely unaware of where she is and where she's going and she's coming right at us!

We sashay to the left to no avail, she's still on a collision course. We hop to the right; she's matched our movements! We're doomed. She runs right into my wife. My wife says, sarcastically, "Excuse me!" We immediately hear a popping sound and I turn to see that the woman has just dropped her piping hot cup of coffee, spilling it all over the dried urine and frozen gum that send their familiar aroma cascading upwards into the cold Chicago air. The woman looks at us. She doesn't say a thing. She just looks at us. I say, "That's what you get for not watching where you're going." And we continue on home.

Later, we justified our actions by claiming that we tried to move, but she kept walking towards us. She wasn't watching where she was going; she was looking in store windows and lumbering along like a big oaf.

Today, however, I'm feeling like a bit of an asshole, but I can't do anything about it now.

So that's my "I was the asshole this time" story.

Anyone care to chastise me and then immediately share their own tale?

12-15-2004, 04:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
JumpinJesus Junkie Location: Chicago	Sometimes WE'RE the jerks. Okay, Typically, I read posts about pet peeves, inconsiderate people, etc. This is my confession.... Last night, my wife and I were the jerks. Unbelievable, I know, but we were. We're at home watching our Sex and the City DVDs. In one episode, Carrie is out clubhopping on Saturday nights whilst Aidan stays in, happy to watch some television and fall asleep in his skivvies with his hand in a bucket of KFC. At the sight of this, my wife and I look at each other and simultaneously say, "KFC sounds good." I have a hankering for some popcorn chicken while my wife is jonesing for some Chicken Strips. We hit the redline and book it down to State and Lake, where there is a wonderful little Taco Bell/KFC joint. Since it's fucking freezing outside, we decide to walk the 10 blocks home. We cross State street - which is a wee bit crowded at 6:30 pm. As we cross the street, arm in arm, a woman is approaching us who is entirely unaware of where she is and where she's going and she's coming right at us! We sashay to the left to no avail, she's still on a collision course. We hop to the right; she's matched our movements! We're doomed. She runs right into my wife. My wife says, sarcastically, "Excuse me!" We immediately hear a popping sound and I turn to see that the woman has just dropped her piping hot cup of coffee, spilling it all over the dried urine and frozen gum that send their familiar aroma cascading upwards into the cold Chicago air. The woman looks at us. She doesn't say a thing. She just looks at us. I say, "That's what you get for not watching where you're going." And we continue on home. Later, we justified our actions by claiming that we tried to move, but she kept walking towards us. She wasn't watching where she was going; she was looking in store windows and lumbering along like a big oaf. Today, however, I'm feeling like a bit of an asshole, but I can't do anything about it now. So that's my "I was the asshole this time" story. Anyone care to chastise me and then immediately share their own tale? __________________ "I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses