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Well, at the risk of naming many of the obvious... have you been to the Wikkaninnish, the Aerie, the Sooke Harbour House? Fancy romantic type places on Vancouver Island. Tho not totally private.
For private, grab a tent and hoof to the top of the Joffree Lakes trail. The Sunshine Coast is rather quiet at this time of year. Lots of B&Bs.
We're also big fans of Manzanita, Oregon.
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