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Originally Posted by SilverScooter
talk, if its not a serious issue (which i don't see as a possibility if you love her) then just start kicking up the sex life. sounds easy, i know  . i'm not good with that type of advice, but i can tell you that if you hold off for a while, when you start having sex again it might be mindblowing (one of those "don't know what you have 'til its gone" dynamics).
i don't think you're being selfish, but i do think that it might be a case of that "greener grass" thing. it happens to the best of us and it probably will fade as soon as it kicks in that you'd rather have a great friend than a real looker. both of these in the same package are good, but oftentimes (not all the time) girls who spend forever making themselves look good rarely have time to learn how to say, carry a conversation or balance a checkbook. (i'm merely agreeing with other statements here, don't all you hot, smart girls flame me at once, i know you exist and i know that there are stupid ugly people too...)
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How would you like to be told that you were a great person but that you weren't really the "looker" that your partner felt she deserved and that she really had to work to muster up enough interest to have sex with you and that even when she did the sex was kind of lousy... but she loves you because you're smart enough to balance a checkbook?
I'll tell you that being on the receiving end of that, of being told that basically you're being treated to mercy sex is horrible !
The OP should be honest, he should tell this woman that he's been having strong urges to see what else is out there,that he wants to date/sleep with other women and he should allow her the same option.