Locs

Ok so I just got off the phone with my buddy. We were talking reminicing about past funny sexual things some girls did. And I cant stop giggling about this one.

So this girl names Myra had a crush on me for years. I met her when I was 20. I always had a g/f or was dating someone so we never hooked-up. Well after my bad break-up of my ex-fiancee (I was now 24 or 25), I went back to my hometown, and as a rebound girl, I started dating Myra.

Now, she is pretty, nice bod, but annoying and not very bright. Also starting doing coke. Hey to each his own, but its a turn off for me, so right from the start I knew this was not going to ever be serious. Anyway...on to the stroy.

So I am dating this girl. We have sex a few times, and to be totally honest...it wasnt good. She enjoyed it, but I just really didnt. I have NO idea why. I mean its hard for a girl to NOT be good in a guys eyes...hell some guys only check for a pulse to enjoy it...and sometimes THAT is optional.

Anyway I really got to the point where I didnt even WANT to sleep with her, hell, I would rather rub it out. Well in her mind she thought I was playing "Hard to get", and it turned her on more....ugh. I avoided being alone with her as much as possible. So one night, after drinking till 4am, at her apt, I wasnt in a good condition to drive home, so I was on her couch. He roomate was in her bedroom, and her sister and her b/f where in the spare room. So I am watching TV, and trying to nicely reject sex with Myra. Her thinking "Ooooh I like this game", gets a bright idea. She goes into her room, and comes out in nothing but black stiletto high heels. Then she starts dancing for me (we were BOTH drinking fyi...), trying hard to sexy and seductive. I keep being nice, telling her I am flattered by tired, so she tries even harder. She gets up on the coffee table and starts bending over, and rubbing her body, etc... . Just as she stands back up, the coffee table leg breaks and sends her crashing down. She hits her head on the fireplace mantle and starts bleeding. I jump up to help her as she starts screaming. Well everyone in the apt comes out, and her being naked, drunk, and bleeding from the head gets embarassed and runs outside so her roomate, sister, and her sisters boyfriend dont see her. As she opened the front door and I guess the blood in her eyes didnt help, she plows strait into the newspaper delivery guy dropping off the Sunday paper.

Now...the poor paper guy has a naked, screaming, bleeding, girl on top of him, and he starts screaming. Myra's sister is yelling at me, and asking why I hit Myra, her sisters boyfriend is laughing like crazy, and her roomate is screaming because there is blood on her carpet. I grab Myra off the paper guy, dragging her back into the house, when we all find out the door is locked behind us. Holy Shit...

3 neighbors come out, and *I* am trying to explain to everyone what happened, the cops come, the abulance, and Myras parents.

Ugh what night. I still talk to Myra as friends, but she acts like this never happened. I dont blame her.

Anyone have funny stories about silly girls? Would LOVE to hear em.