oi vey, flyman...
i got a little story for ya.
this ain't nothing compared to your recent robberies.... but maybe this might make you laugh? maybe? big ol' bad bern fightin' crime in her own hood. yknow.
so here's the story....
so we have major construction going on in addition to remodeling the rest of our home. yknow.
so there's this big green fugly outhouse in front of our house. attractive? no. but it is for the workers & i appreciate that they don't hafta track their muddy dirt feet through my house for their human necessary relief. yes.
well, i just looked out my front window & what do i see?
holy effing shit.
there's this young <strike>boy</strike> man taking a leak OUTSIDE of the outhouse.
i don't think twice.
i ran out there & busted him mid-stream.
"what the hell are you doing?!!!" he continues to piss.
"STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!!"
he continues to piss.
louder now : "STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!"
he zips.
"WHO ARE YOU?"
he sez his name is Jeff.
i said, "are you a friend of Jeff?" (we have a Jeff, son of my next-door neighbor) living with his dad (again).
he said yeah.
i said, "well, why in the hell didn't you knock on their door & ask them to use their bathroom??"
he had no explanation. just a scared blank face.
i said, "i could call the cops on you right now. you could be arrested for lewd behavior."
"oh please please please, don't call the cops!"
i said, "well, go knock on your friend's door RIGHT NOW & ask to use their bathroom."
"i don't need to, i'm done."
"no, you're not! i made you quit. GO! GO NOW!!!! GOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
he hurriedly walked to their front door & i followed him repeating NOW! GO! GO! pointing the way all the way to the front door.
he rings the doorbell.
the door opened instantly as father & son surely had heard my disgusted exclamations.
i repeated that i could have him arrested for lewd behavior.
father & son begin giving him the WTF talk & i feel sure they finished him off well.
BROAD DAYLIGHT. NOON.
*shakes head*
i just hope he never forgets.
that sort of behavior is UNACCEPTABLE.
weird thing is... WHY didn't he go INSIDE of the construction workers' porta-potty?