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DEI37.....I can COMPLETELY see where you are coming from...
backstory.....was raised in a religious but not over bareingly so..church on sunday...my mother was the youth leader etc.
Was given the choice to decide for myself at 16 whether I wanted to go to church or not and decided nope I didnt, I had NO doubts about my belief in god...but the church the family was in just didnt seem "right"
Stayed out of church until I was almost 22 and met my first husband. He was church of god raised, there everytime the doors opened etc...I became VERY active in the church...I was on just about every "committee" or "ministry" there was (this was 1990-1999)
Fastforward to May 6th 1999(the thursday before mothers day if I remember the day right).....left work on a break to get a cup of coffee from McDonalds and was in a major accident on my way back..Thankfully nothing as bad as yours...but still close enuff to a death experience to me to make me think some. During this time NO ONE, not even the minister, called or came to see me....the closest I got was a message from my mother in law saying some of the women were miffed that I was going to be laid up an not able to decorate for the mothers day banquet that saturday at church.
Now I was one of the people that made sure that families of hospitalized people, or families that had lost loved ones etc had meals in their homes...had babysitters for their kids....had a chauffer if they couldnt drive....Did I have ANY one do that stuff for me? Nope not a one.
I did a lot of thinking laid up in the bed....I never got angry with god, how could I...I lived...I saw this as a human issue only....and it made me lose complete faith in organized religion.
As a lot of people who "almost die" do....I thought long and hard about my life..what did I do? I started a porn site, which I've talked about elsewhere here, and hubby and I went into an alternative lifestyle...we tried swinging...it wasnt for us...we opted for an open marriage and quite frankly had no problem reconciling it with our belief in god...I have ALWAYS been a person that could feel guilt 100 miles away and I had no doubt that because this was something he and I were doing TOGETHER..ie not running around behind each others backs...that it was OK and we werent gonna burn in hell for it (que in the people who think other wise...but I really dont care what those people think)
We'd had marital problmes and had talked etc...we decided to keep with the open marriage until one or the other of us decided it was time to get out, we had a business, we owned property, we had a child...1st and foremost though we were FRIENDS and still are...some of you know that he and I still live in the same house along with our S/O's and it works quite well for us..he and dave even hang out and do stuff when Im not able to and get along quite well...things are being settled and the divorce will be final in time for Dave and I to get married when we want to next year.
Anyway...my point DEI37 is that having been in your shoes, more or less, I applaud you for doing something for yourselves that works for you ...regardless of what the holy rollers think or say, and although I've never felt "bad" about what we were doing, or keeping my faith and belief in the god of my understanding, its nice to "meet" someone that is/has done the same thing.
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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
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