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maleficent · 10-09-2004, 05:58 AM

So, I'm more than twice your age, and have been a feminist longer than you've been alive... I once thought like that... (and this is no way a rant against you at all -- just my opinion)

I knew people in high school who got married soon after high school, I knew people in college who were there only to get their MRS degree (and I went to a pretty good school, that took pretty decent grades to get into, it wasn't Podunk University where they took anyone) I scoffed at people like that. what the hell was wrong with them, why did they want to turn their back on their intelligence and become tied down.

Somewhere in my thirties, I realized that this attitude was really turning against what feminism is all about. In the 50s women married young and had families and went to college to get a MRS degree because they had to... They don't have to anymore, it's a choice that they make. Feminism is partially that a woman has a choice to go out and pursue a career and be successful, feminism is also that a woman has a choice to get married and have a family.

BUT - the statement that "after they are married they won't have to try so hard" burns me to no end, marriage is work, family is work, sometimes harder work than a career. Or the 20 year old that thinks there is something wrong with them because they're not married at 20. That's going back to 50s mentality, where they HAVE to be married, not 00's mentality where they want to be married.

I have always firmly held the belief that you cannot have a life with someone else, until you have had a life by yourself. You cannot expect happiness to come from another person.

10-09-2004, 05:58 AM	#11 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	So, I'm more than twice your age, and have been a feminist longer than you've been alive... I once thought like that... (and this is no way a rant against you at all -- just my opinion) I knew people in high school who got married soon after high school, I knew people in college who were there only to get their MRS degree (and I went to a pretty good school, that took pretty decent grades to get into, it wasn't Podunk University where they took anyone) I scoffed at people like that. what the hell was wrong with them, why did they want to turn their back on their intelligence and become tied down. Somewhere in my thirties, I realized that this attitude was really turning against what feminism is all about. In the 50s women married young and had families and went to college to get a MRS degree because they had to... They don't have to anymore, it's a choice that they make. Feminism is partially that a woman has a choice to go out and pursue a career and be successful, feminism is also that a woman has a choice to get married and have a family. BUT - the statement that "after they are married they won't have to try so hard" burns me to no end, marriage is work, family is work, sometimes harder work than a career. Or the 20 year old that thinks there is something wrong with them because they're not married at 20. That's going back to 50s mentality, where they HAVE to be married, not 00's mentality where they want to be married. I have always firmly held the belief that you cannot have a life with someone else, until you have had a life by yourself. You cannot expect happiness to come from another person. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.