Quote:
Originally posted by Captain Nemo
My question, if the person were to go ahead and find something on the side, is he cheating?
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If it's pre-arranged and everybody's cool with it, then no. It's not cheating.
The litmus test here is: if you have to lie about it or keep it secret, it's cheating. Withholding the details isn't the same thing.
This whole "cheating" thing gets really simple when both partners are stable and the relationship is firm enough that both partners can admit their desires openly. You wouldn't believe the number of times that some random hottie has become bedtime-story fodder for lurkette and me. And in one remarkable instance, something more than just fantasy has happened.
That pressure-valve pretty well ensures for me that cheating won't ever be something we have to deal with. If either of us feels the urge, we can talk about it, include it in our own sexuality, and, if appropriate, let something happen.
Puritanical attitudes toward sex are the strongest possible fuel for the behavior they try to eradicate.