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Crushes are fine to have, but IMO you don't tell the person you're crushing on about it if you don't want something to happen eventually. I'm sorry but it sounds like she is interested in pursuing something with this guy, but also wants to keep you around for back up. Otherwise, you crush in secret, get over it, and move on with them being nothing the wiser.
I'm married and this is how I would do it. Of course, you'll have to decide for yourself if you want to let it go and just see what happens.
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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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