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Old 05-06-2003, 04:55 AM   #24 (permalink)
~springrain
Banned
 
Location: central USA
Concertina...

*soft smile* please don't feel bad... or frigid... like i said... we go in spurts. sometimes, we seem to be having sex all the time... and sometimes it's few and far between.

I think most all of us women go through periods in our life when our desire for sex wanes... especially as we get older. Our kids, hormonal shifts, stress, etc... they all play a part in it.

I went through a spell where sex was the very LAST thing on the planet that i wanted. Over time, my husband and i worked it through. It took a little bit of patience... a lot of communication... some creativity and the willingness to take some risks on my part... and my husbands undying patience and understanding.

You asked for suggestions?... this is such a tough one, becuase we are all so different, and needless to say, sex is such an intimate and personal thing... but here's what helped me:

When i felt desire-less... the thought of having to "perform" put a lot of stress on me. I so very much wanted to "be more" for my husband... and my own perceived "failure" was almost painful for me. My desire simply wasn't there.
We started really small... lots and showers and baths together... massages... stuff like that. Our rule was really simple -- lots of intimacy... no sex. Amazing how much that took the pressure off of me. After a little while... my comfort zone increased and my desire returned.

I know that's not that world winning advice... but it's something to try... if nothing else, you and your parnter remain close and intimate... the actual "sex" stuff can be worked out over time.

Hope some of this helps!
~springrain
~springrain is offline  
 

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