gondath

(I put this in living because children have as much right to this discussion as parents do. It concerns them together, but move it if you need to.)


Alright, this is directed at parents and how they treat their children. I understand the argument their house, their rules to a point, but you can only take this so far. Plenty of parents out there are neglectful of their children. They insult their kids, take away some of their freedom just to have someone to dominate, and generally don't do a good job of parenting.

A job is not everything. Minors will have a tough time finding any sort of job outside of maybe fast food. It can be very, very difficult, if not impossible to move out on wages like that. I don't think you'll find a lot of apartment complexes renting out places to minors. This forces them to move out with older people who are probably friends or boyfriends/girlfriends. If the person renting out the place has a problem with them for whatever reason, then it's life on the streets. What responsible parent wants to see that happen? Even legal adults can have trouble finding decent jobs. Don't exert pressure if it's not their fault they still live at home. I live with my parents because I haven't found a job able to support me until I finish my degree.


Parents need to come up with reasons for their rules. This is supposed to be a democracy. I know that this entails mostly legal issues related to voting and the government, but this country should have standards of decency stretching back to the families. If the parents don't have a good reason for exerting control over their kids, then why the hell are they coming up with rules like that to begin with? I like my laws to have a good foundation behind them, too. I understand their children may not be seeing the whole picture, but parents should have concrete motivations for everything they do. No one forced them to have kids. They have a damn responsibility to the life they chose to create. If they had children to make a generation of slaves or people to boss around and feel better than, then I wish them a speedy death.


After all, this policy of not asking questions does not work for the government, why should it work for families? Even homeless people have rights. You can't abuse or kill a homeless person just because you have a job and they don't or because you end up paying taxes and they don't. Maybe they didn't have a choice.


Not every decision can be regulated by the government, though. Children never had a choice who their parents were. You have a responsibility to ensure that their lives are as good you can reasonably make it, or you are just being selfish. This does not mean giving in to their every want and desire but neither does it mean you can be a hateful tyrant. Sure, the government says you can legally kick people out at a certain age, but depending on the situation, this may not be the best option for them. You must question why youa re taking such drastic steps, or you're adding another pontential problem to society. I've seen plenty of kids who moved out too soon having kids long before they are ready, doing drugs, and committing crimes. This is not a game, folks. This is reality. A parent's choices affect their childrens' lives.


Children and parents should have a good speaking relationship. I just don't see why some families don't see this as possible or acceptable. You should be willing to explain things to each other. Parents can teach kids, but kids can be teachers, too. A lack of communication could very well be a large part of problems sprouting up in a family. Don't set up brick walls with no human contact and no way around. I don't see why children should be treated with any less respect than adults. They are younger, but they are not stupid at any rate. The adults of tomorrow are the children of today, and they are your children. Talk with them and see if you can work out issues with your rules. Maybe you have to stick to your guns without negotiation, but do this sparingly and for the right reasons.

Threats and insults are not good for parenting. If you say this is the real world, well guess what? You are a big part of this world. If you don't like the way people treat each other, start the changes at home. Don't callously threaten your children with driving them out. I bet you'll have a fantastic relationship if they do leave. If this scenario doesn't bother you, think harder. You created a life, you nurtured this life for many years, and now you're caling it quits? You aren't a slave for your children but neither are their slaves for you. Think about how many mental problems and crimes have a root in bad family relationships. If you make impossible demands, you may find yourself the target of a lot of hatred and maybe no one will be there for you when you need them.

I find parents who excessively use threats to reign in their children are often abusive or neglectful. Studies have been done to prove this, but I'm not going to link or quote them right now. I mean it's pretty obvious a parent who begins and ends any objection with this is my house,like it or get it isn't all nice and friendly in other parts of his life. I'd be willing to doubt parents like that are good to their kids in the absence of any conflict either. Property is not all their is to life. This land was stolen from Indians anyways, and the government can take your land away with imminent domain if the situation arises. Maybe you should ask what gives you the right to claim maturity. If its work, many minors work, even as many hours as their parents, but still they don't get proper respect. If it's the type of job, I've seen 45 year old men working fast food, just like their younger counterparts. Does this make them any less of people? Foreign kids in sweatshops work many more hours than our hardest working parents or citizens and get paid dirt. I doubt we'd all be willing to call them mature adults though.

Maturity and respect need to be earned by parents and children alike. Sure, years don't dictate maturity alone, but many standards in this country (referring to the USA here) do indicate who is considered a legal adult. Once you hit 18, you can smoke and must register for the right to be sent somewhere to die fighting in this country's name. Not all minors or people under the age of 30 are whiny, immature, irresponsible, and deserving of our worst treatment. I'll be getting a degree in psychology soon, so family problems are a large part of what I'll be dealing with in counseling. I want to do everything I can to prevent the kind of relationships I've seen in the families of some of my more screwed up friends. This was not meant to be a flame but a reaction to a dangerous trend of blaming the victim. Just as all poor people are not lazy, stupid, criminals, all minors or young adults are not idiots, irresponsible, ungrateful, whiny, immature, and irrelevant. I'd appreciate if more parents could be teachers and even friends to their children rather than overlords and tyrants. Remember, anything you can say bad about other people and the world still reflects on you.

I encourage any responses. Forgive me if its a bit rambling or unclear. I was tired when I wrote this.